Landlubber to Luxury: Your Hilariously Honest Guide to Yacht Chartering

Mar 11, 2024·By Elena Christiansen

Alright, landlubbers, ever dreamt of ditching the all-inclusive buffet and questionable hotel entertainment for a million-dollar playground on the high seas? Well, buckle up, because yacht chartering is calling your name (and your credit card).

First things first: the lingo.

You'll be bombarded with terms like "stern," "bow," and "galley." Don't worry, these aren't fancy cheeses – they're just boat parts (although some cheeses are fancy, so maybe that's not the worst way to think about it). Here's a quick crash course:

- Stern: The back of the boat, where your dreams of being a pirate captain come true (but without the scurvy or questionable hygiene).

- Bow: The front of the boat, where you can pretend you're Jack Dawson yelling "I'm the king of the world!" (Just don't fall off, unlike Jack).

- Starboard: Right side of the boat when you're facing the bow. Remember this with the handy mnemonic: "Starboard side, starboard side, where stars are bright at night."

- Port: Left side of the boat when you're facing the bow. This one is easy - it's the same as the port you'd find in a city, just on water!

- Galley: The kitchen, but way fancier. Think stainless steel countertops and someone else doing the dishes (hopefully).

- Head: The bathroom on a boat, though some might argue it's more like a throne room given the stunning views you might encounter! Unlike a traditional bathroom, heads tend to be on the smaller side, so plan your pit stops accordingly.

Next up: the crew.

These are basically your floating personal assistants. They'll whip you up gourmet meals, answer your every whim (within reason, don't ask them to walk the plank), and probably judge you silently for not knowing the difference between port and starboard (it's left and right, for the record).

Now, let's talk money. Chartering a yacht ain't cheap. Think "luxury car" prices, but on water. The good news? You can split the cost with friends, turning your trip into a floating friend-cation! Just be prepared for some awkward conversations about who gets the master suite.

Speaking of awkwardness, be prepared for seasickness.

It's a real thing, and it can turn even the most seasoned landlubber into a green-faced gremlin. Pro tip: pack seasickness medication, and practice your best "I'm totally fine" poker face.

But hey, all that pales in comparison to the experience. Imagine waking up to the gentle rocking of the waves, the sound of the ocean breeze, and the knowledge that you're basically living out your own James Bond fantasy (minus the explosions and questionable ethics).

You can swim in crystal-clear waters, explore secluded coves, and pretend you own the entire ocean (because, for a week, you kind of do).

So, is yacht chartering for you? If you're up for an adventure, don't mind a little (or a lot) of luxury, and have a healthy sense of humor about your inevitable landlubber moments, then go for it!

Just remember, it's all about embracing the experience, laughing at yourself (and maybe your seasick friends), and creating memories that will last a lifetime.